This weekend I wasn’t the only one having an adventure in Toronto. While visiting friends, my little Lemon dog decided he would run away from home. Or, more likely, he saw a squirrel and a very small space just big enough for a determined pup.

I’m not sure how long he was gone, but I do know where he was found. Doggy jail, aka the pound.

Jail Dog

This, without fail, had me thinking about prison food and what I would want for my last meal. Don’t waste time wondering why my brain made that leap – just know that it happened.

There is a photographer who spent hundreds of dollars making, then photographing, the last meals of some of the most notorious criminals who were on death row. Some were a bit weird. Timothy McVeigh – two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. There was even a guy who ordered only a single olive with the pit in.

That must have been one hell of an olive.

There has to be some strategy to chosing your last meal. There is a budget, which means 10lbs of foie gras is out. So much for my plan of heart attack before the execution. And unless you ask for something really specific, (like John Wayne Gacy who ordered a whole bucked of KFC to go with fried shrimp and a pound of strawberries), it is going to be cooked by a prison chef. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but unless you are going to give them your mom’s recipe for your favourite childhood dinner, you need to pick something that most people can make well.

It should be something that you enjoy and is comforting. So for me that means only two things – carbs and cheese.

I can see it now. My last meal. A cheesey, oooeey, gooey lasagna. No peppers, no onions – not wasting my time with veggies I only tolerate. At least 4 different kinds of cheese.

Or an amazing charcuterie board with fantastic cured meats, medium to hard cheeses (now is not the time for me to experiment with blue and brie) and fresh bread.

Or maybe even just a really fantastic pizza.

Guess it’s a good thing I don’t have to decide… yet. Kidding. I totally wouldn’t end up on death row. I hope. Ever seen Paradise Lost?? Shit happens when you are different.

 

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